Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Holidays

The joy of a New Zealand Christmas is that the Summer weather is wonderful. It's the best time of year to take off.

I worked on Christmas Eve - my first day shift. It was a very civilised 9am - 7pm slot which suits me a lot better that the 7pm - 9am night(mare) shift. It was very steady and I managed to get 6 jobs; my largest yet.

The brothel was closed on Christmas day. I would not have worked Christmas day, it's a day where family comes first. I ended up having a great day hanging out with my immediate family.

I worked Boxing Day which was much quieter, only 4 jobs. But, I had my first outcall. What happens on an outcall: the driver drops the girl outside the house/hotel, she goes in, she receives and counts the money and then phones the brothel. If everything is ok she simply says so, of anything is not ok here is a subtle code word slipped into the sentence. If that code word is said the driver will come back to the door otherwise the driver will slip away.

I have never felt more hookerish than knocking on someone's door at two in the afternoon deep in the suburbs whilst wearing an evening dress and stilettos... only to emerge smoothing my hair an hour later.

Over the weekend I also has the pleasure of meeting my favourite client (so far). A salesman, sweet, straight to the point and absolutely comfortable with prostitution (it seems amazing how many clients are not that comfortable with hiring a woman for sex despite the fact that that is what they are there for). He comes for sex, he is polite and friendly but never in doubt that he is there for a service. He knows the rules and doesn't overstep the mark. He would be a regular that I would be delighted to see again.

One of the things I have been curious about is the numbers, how many people a prostitute has sex with, so I'll keep a running total.

Shifts worked: 4
Unique clients: 19
Total jobs: 19

I'm thinking about taking the opportunity to start recording other details (the relation between foot size and penis size has been well documented as myth so I won't bother with that one) I was thinking about a comparison between those who attempt to take liberties (ask not to wear a condom or not take a shower) to demographics like age or nationality. I'll have a think about it and come up with a spreadsheet for the new year.

I have changed the setting so that now you can make comments anonymously - but you still have to do a catchapa.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Deal breakers

Prostitution is not your normal day job. It can be physically and emotionally draining, the service we provide the clients is personal, intimate and completely customised. There are a lot of things to consider so I've come up with a list of deal-breakers. When I know that this is not right for me, or when I've had enough. I'm not going to put a time limit on it, nor will I pack it in if I have a bad night... all jobs have good days and bad days. it's a learning curve, this is something I want to get good at. It's something I want to learn.


• If part time prostitution in any way effects my day-job. I love my day job, I get paid well for what I do, it's fun and secure. I don't ever want to turn up to work tired, run-down or not focused.

• If I ever feel like the management has not got my back. I am pretty good at looking after myself, and I have the law on my side but if push came to shove I have to be certain that the establishment put me before the client.

• If I ever don't want to do it. Seems obvious I know, but many people stay in a job they don't like. I'm doing this for interest not for need.

I'm sure I'll come back and add to this page, but for now, that's it.

I'm going to pop in to the brothel to see what their Christmas hours are and if I can pick up a day shift before I head off on a Summer break, I have a cute red dress and a santa hat that really doesn't get enough time out of the closet.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


I have had the very lucky fortunate to know two very lovely women who have worked (and will work again) in the industry. The Amazon, an exotic beauty overseas, (the one who sent me a list of things I should look out for in a brothel) called me before my first shift to wish me luck and to have loads of fun. She has also called me since to catch up and hear about my experiences. She thinks she is a bad influence... I think she's awesome.

Dorian worked with me on my first night, she likes the place but is not into the hours, also she has worked for a much higher class place - the kind of place that is busiest during the day when business men can schedule in "meetings" to explain their absences. So I think the next time she works she'll probably try out a new place. I get to see her a lot which means I have someone I can chat to about tricks of the trade and seek advice. Which reminds me, I must memorise her bodyslide technique, it brings all the boys to the yard.

For now I'm happy with just those two people knowing, I know most of my friends will neither be surprised or unhappy if they discovered I am selling my affections at an hourly rate, but somethings are best kept quiet.

You know you're a prostitute when...

You know you are a prostitute when you have sex with 5 different men in the space of 10 hours and at the end of the shift can't remember them all. maybe it's just me. Friday night was good. Before the shift I was still slightly nervous and a bit turned on, I kept having to pee.

I got 5 bookings (unfortunately for much shorter time spaces than my first night), and had some good conversations. The men I have met at the brothel seem to have very low expectations of the conversation so it's not difficult to impress.

1st guy, old man possibly the worst kisser in the world - 20 minutes
2nd guy, young chap, possibly with some level of a mental health disorder like asperger's syndrome... and possibly the 2nd worst kisser in the world - 30 minutes
3rd guy, first didn't want to take a shower, then seemed to think that condoms were negotiable, he learnt the rules pretty fast - 1 hour
4th guy, really sweet, first half hour he went down on me, and for the second half he wanted to be hugged - bliss - 1 hour
5th guy, 22 year old rugby player, really shy, I think he had watched too much porn in his formative years - 20 minutes

There's this fantastic woman called Cindy Gallop who has made a web page called make love not porn that raises some really good issues. Hard core pornography is ample on the web and easier to access for young boys than other forms of sex education. Unfortunately hard core porn give a very limited understanding of sex. It's nice to have the opportunity to gently and positively direct young men into better sexual practices. I think you should always leave a lover in better condition than when you found them.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Signin' up

I popped in and spoke to The Manager during the week. I said that I really enjoyed working but can't handle the 13 hour shifts. She seems to like me, which is nice. She said she can offer me a 10 hour shift 9am-7pm on a Saturday or a Sunday. Excellent.

I'm working tonight - Friday night - from 7pm till 5am. Much better than 8am. After that I'm not going to work till the end of the month (my weekends are pretty full at the moment) and then after the summer holidays I'll be signing up for one day-shift a week. I think I can make this work. If I work only one day a week, I think I can almost double my income without it effecting my day job.

I'm also going to look into registering for tax, and (unrelated) I've decided to move house. I'm now really looking forward to next year. I think life has just got a whole lot better.

Friday, November 27, 2009


The shift started at 7pm, I had a ho-bag prepared with 4 types of condoms (regular, small, large and non-latex), water based lube, silicon lube, dental dams, wet wipes and mouth wash. Dorian started at the same time. I was kind of cool to have a mate there too. We chose rooms next to each other. Mine had a four poster bed and a wall of mirrors. We high-fived occasionally during the night.

So we put on our dresses and heels and started to chat with people in the lounge. the brothel is a 2 story building, lounge and office on the ground and bedrooms upstairs. I spoke with several men who seemed more interested in each other. I had a fascinating conversation with a diamond trader... He was a TV salesman who would occasionally move watches or diamonds from his contacts in Asia. I asked him about the effect of man-made diamonds on the industry and other witty things that gave him a the opportunity to demonstrate his knowledge.

It was well over an hour before anyone asked me to go upstairs and when they did it was rather or of the blue. I was politely asked by the biggest burliest most rugged looking man in the place (with a black eye to boot) that I had hardly spoken to. Eek, it was exciting, no really. It's so easy to judge men, to make assumptions based on their mannerisms and appearance. My apprehension was quelled by curiosity and delight in the craziness of it all.

The dude was cool, massive guy (in both ways I got to use an XL condom), incredibly appreciative and fun. He booked for an hour and extended for an additional 20 minutes. I haven't learnt pacing very well and nor am I very good at getting a guy to come fast. He seemed to like it when I was noisy... Dorian in the room next door got to hear my very loud moans. He asked a few personal questions and asked me how much I would charge to visit him regularly once a week. Not bad. I declined taking his phone number and told him to ask for me by name at the brothel.

After that I was shagged. When I was chatting to the duty manager about my first job I was spotted by a guy who seemed to take a shine to me and therefore got number 2 straight away. He asked me if he could come twice in the hour, I said no, if he wanted to come twice he would have to get 2 hours at least... I thought it best just to make up a rule and say it like it was policy. This guy was totally different lean and shy, I thought he could have been Pacifica but turns out he was South East Asian. Amazingly smooth light brown skin and dark brown dick. I'm learning a whole lot here. He was into pleasing me, he spent most of his time pleasuring me, there were a few moments throughout the evening when I thought 'I can't believe I'm getting paid for this'. He asked me out for a coffee which was sweet and surprising. He wasn't in the least bit shocked when I declined.

Guy number three was the only client who really spoke with me first, again, lovely. He works in what sounds like a full-on job in community health (not a sector that really pays enough for guys to be spending their time in brothels). I was getting used to chatting to guys and being selected by guys who I hadn't talked to. Clients don't come to a brothel for conversation. So this guy really shone out. I was regurgitating other peoples ideas on right-wing and left-wing views of physical purity (right wing think we shouldn't do drugs or explore sex, left wing think we shouldn't eat the food that tastes good) and he says "you are so attractive right now".

I also had to use the large condoms again... seeing different men so close together has really made me appreciate the differences in cocks. I also became acquainted with a Prince Albert piercing for the first time. He was a delight. I think that when a guy is seeing a hooker he can tell her what he wants without fearing judgement. I got to bite on his nipples till he howled in pain. Awesome. Dorian in the next room also got to hear that... I feel we have taken our friendship to the next level. Client number 3 also talked about his age, how he was getting on, how he felt the pressure to be settling down... that felt weird given that he was a year younger than me (of course I didn't tell him).

The duty manager kindly saved a really cute guy for Dorian and myself (kind of a gift to the new girls) and so we got chatting to him. He was hot - really hot - deep rolling voice, sparkling eyes, gentle laugh. I gave Dorain the opportunity to be with him by excusing myself from the conversation to go to the toilet. If I came back and they were still downstairs I would have started a campaign of hair-flicking, arm-touching and leg-rubbing. But when I came back the sofa was empty. He booked with Dorian for 2 hours and they had a lovely conversation. I don't think that guy really has the hang of what brothel is for.

There was a huge void around 2-8am. But at 4.30am Dorian and I (who were hanging about the lounge playing old tunes on the jukebox with and singing along with the other girls) both got booked for half an hour. I was tired and I don't feel like I really was giving this guy the attention he deserved. He was quiet and nervous and lay very still. At one point I felt like I was screwing a corpse... the weirdest thing about that is that's when I had an actual genuine orgasm (weird). So I came and he didn't. I don't really feel like he got enough bang for his buck. Sweet guy though, he said he would really like to have a girlfriend who is just like me.

So that was it, 4 guys and a lot of waiting around. particularly the 6-8am stretch. Almost all the girls were sitting about waiting. That would never happen if we were on an hourly wage. It was cool. I need to learn pacing, timing and how to bring a guy to orgasm fast (aside from the tickle the prostrate trick... not all guys are into that). I earned $400.

I had fun and I'd like to do it again. I think I could get really good at it. But 13 hours is ridiculous. I have slept most of today and know that my body clock is going to be out to whack for a while. So I'll talk to The Manager next week and ask about the possibility of working a shorter shift during the busiest hours. Otherwise I think I'll just leave it. I don't have the time flexibility for this job.

Just in case I don't work again I stole a pillow case that has "Escort Services" printed on the corner.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


I'm working tonight. I'm excited, I get this little smirk on my face at the idea. It's exhilarating to have a secret.

I dropped into my local NZPC - the New Zealand Prostitutes' Collective. I told them that I was about to start in the industry and what should I know. I chatted to a lovely woman who maintained an exquisite balance of utter elegance without intimidation and was hot but still approachable. A true pro.

They gave me a prostitutes' starter pack filled with a range of condoms. Apparently it is industry standard in this profession to always supply your own condoms. I imagine this could become very expensive without the NZPC that sells wholesale sized boxes at lower-than-wholesale prices. Also in my pack was a huge tube of lube and loads of pamphlets and brochures covering all sorts of things. I'll take their magazine - siren - along on on my shift to read during down times.

I was also able to get sponges. I have used a popular commercial equivalent before called Beppy. They are inserted during period times and sit right up near the cervix to absorb blood. because they are soft it's possible to have sex while using them and they go unnoticed. Admittedly as wonderful as sponges are they can be an utter pain to remove... a lot of crouching and reaching.

In preparation I have also done an extreme amount of personal grooming. Hair dyed, legs shaved, nails done, feet pumiced, skin moisturised, hair set into a nice-yet-durable style. And then there are my pubes... shaved underneath, waxed at the sides, trimmed on top and dyed, yes dyed. the carpet now matches the curtains.

My main concern now is not being too tired at the end of a 13 hour shift at the end of a 40 hour week.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The interview

I work at an office during the day so arranged to stop by the brothel after work. I wondered If I needed a resume for this. If so, it would be a great opportunity to mention the few weeks I worked as a lap-dancer which had always sadly been missing from my resume.

I rung the doorbell and was greeted by a perky young asian girl wearing something closer to a slip than a dress. I smiled a a client just leaving who also reinforced the stereotype of a brothel and waited in the dimly lit hallway to speak to The Manager.

The Manager was a woman in her late 40s who would look tough if it wasn't for sparkly eyes and very long lashes. She welcomed me in and ran through her spiel. Dorian had been in earlier that day and had asked a 'fuck-ton' of questions so I knew if I didn't ask something Dorian would probably have asked it. The Manager was very good with straight-up information and was happy to answer my many questions.

Times start from 20 minutes which I understand to be pretty short in this business. It's definitely not what I would consider top-of-the-range, but I think it will be a good place for a first-time-whore. Clients are greeted at the door and led into a lounge where another girl offers hot drinks - cold drinks are available for a price "we're a brothel not a bar". The client makes his selection and arranges time-length and payment with the floor manager. Each girl gets their own room for the shift. The biggest shock was discovering that the standard shift length was 12-13 hours. This is where I think some contract negotiation skills could come in handy.

After I agreed to one night to try it out to see how I go The Manager took some details:

"How old are you?"
- she writes '22' on the card
- 5.4
"Dress size?"
"Size 12"
- Dress: 10

etc until the card is filled with the description of the woman I'll be portraying on Friday night.

Not only did I not need my resume, no questions were asked about my abilities, talents, 10 year plans, or what drew me to this career choice. The questions were simply about what I was happy to do. I guess it is a survival of the fittest type job and I'm sure The Manager wouldn't be surprised if I didn't turn up on Friday.

Friday night... what am I going to wear?

And it starts.

I picked a place. I'd like to say that I scoured the web and cross referenced all establishments by searching for feedback... but no, I just liked the website of the second place I found, checked out the outside of their building and gave them a call. They said to come in to meet the manager.

I sent the URL to my friend who had been a high class call girl in Europe to hear her thoughts. This amazonian beauty gave me a good solid list of questions and things to look out for. I felt pretty good, prepared and better informed. Amazon (she really deserves a better name but she's the type of woman that is impossible to sum up in a single noun, so Amazon will have to do) outlined normal timeframes (1-2 hours is standard), refusal policies, and alcohol (some places like the girls to encourage the clients to buy heavily marked-up drinks... which can end up with being drunk while working unless the bar is secretly pouring sodas for the girls).

Then I got an amazing surprise.

I had asked my innocent looking but very open minded friend the names of sex acts that I had seen listed on the first website and she asked me what I was up to. I of course answered that I was looking for a brothel to see if I could have a go at being a prostitute to see if I like it (thinking that no one was really going to take me seriously). Then Dorian (named after the Oscar Wilde story) quietly mentioned if I was serious, I said yep, and then said... "because this is something I have done."

Well fuck-me-for-money - you just can't ever tell who has worked or is working in the industry! Dorain was a very high class courtesan at a more expensive brothel. I learnt a lot from her in the conversation that followed the revelation. The best quote "it's a job, you can't glamourise it nor vilify it, it's just a job."

So we decided to give this new place a try together. I have a buddy, a rare asset in this industry.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Hopes and reservations

So I'm thinking about becoming a prostitute. Of course I have reservations, but having sex with strangers is not one of them and neither is accepting money for sex. But first: what I'm looking forward to.

I am excited about having the possibility to to access a whole secret world, a world that is different and new and fascinating. Meeting people, learning to listen and listening to men uncensored, men in an environment where they can feel open and relaxed and free to say what they want... what do people say when they have that opportunity? Understanding people better. Sex - and in particular, sex with strangers. Subsidising my income. Having a new experience, opening up another world that could be challenging and eye opening. Discovering more about sex... getting better at sex (they say practice makes perfect). having a reason to be well groomed. I always wanted to be one of those ladies who has nice nails and smooth feet and who smells nice, but I'm just too lazy to maintain the levels of beauty that I aspire to. I'm also looking forward to learning the arts of seduction - I will be doing background research on this.

So my list of reservations is: I might be too old, I'm over 30 which I think might be hard to compete with younger working girls. I'm also of average weight, and build, and in my mind people don't visit prostitutes for average, they are paying for something special, something they can't get normally. I'm wondering if I have the right look, I am unsure of how to market myself, I have a girl-next-door rounded, wide-eyed face, I have a retro style but I'm also tattooed and pierced. I also wonder if I'm too emotionally attached to my body, I wonder if I get a client who I don't click with if I will resent them... that's a bridge-crossing get-there situation.

I do have a few things working in my favour. I'm in New Zealand where prostitution is legal which means a much safer industry than in other countries. I'm well spoken, educated, and travelled so i feel like I can converse and interact with a wide range of people, and can offer something that younger girls can't. I can also enter a higher lever here than I world be able to in europe where the level of sophistication is generally much higher. In new Zealand women where backpacks and flat shoes so it doesn't take much so sparkle with femininity.

One last concern... am I good enough to go professional?

Finding the right place is crucial, so I'm looking and ringing around now. I hope to check out some places this weekend.

Friday, November 20, 2009

First an idea and a name.

Last week the author of Belle de Jour diary of a London call girl outed herself as scientist Dr Brook Magnanti. This got me thinking. Hmm, call girl. A friend of mine was a high class call girl and spoke with great enthusiasm about her experiences. So I'm wondering. Is this something I could do?

I harbour a great deal of excitement for this idea. It's exciting, thrilling even. I don't know if I will go through with it, I may get to my first brothel and decide it's not for me. In which case this blog will sit neglected and forgotten.

First I need a name. I have decided on Lucy. The name of the Australopithecus afarensis specimen discovered in 1974 while the Beatles tune 'Lucy in the sky with diamonds' played. Not because that, but because it's an archetypal girl-next-door name. A name that's not a stripper name, a name that could be mine. A very human name... maybe I'm approaching this wrong.

I've backed it up with Johnson, which is in the top 20 most common US surnames. Chosen this time not because of its lack of personality but because of it's connections. This is what it says about 'Johnson' in the urban dictionary:

Slang for penis.
Anita Johnson = "I need a johnson", ie, a woman who needs to get laid really bad.
Annie Johnson = "Any Johnson" = I'll take any johnson I can get.
Emma Johnson = "I'm a johnson" = a "woman" who is REALLY a man.
Harry Johnson = "hairy johnson" = a guy who doesn't trim his bush.
Lisa Johnson = "lease a johnson" = a woman who hires male prostitutes.
Max Johnson = super huge penis, or man who has one.
Sarah Johnson = "Is there Johnson (around here)?" = a woman hunting for cock.
Sharon Johnson = "sharin' johnson" = a chick who likes to have more than one penis in her at the same time.

So I'm joining the Johnson family of novelty names.