I didn't work in the brothel over the weekend, I had other things to do. I love the flexibility of this job. I caught up with Dorian, she occasionally does jobs for another brothel, it's a lot more exclusive than mine, and the work tends to be on-call rather than shift work. Although to demonstrate either how good she is, or how high-class her establishment is, sometimes she can be booked a week in advance.
It was great to sit down with another working girl and just chat. It has made me realise how much has changed in my life since I started working as a prostitute. Even though I only work part-time the changes have been immense.
- Finances: there is no doubt, this occupation pays well, I have a student loan debt (which doesn't really count, they are pretty ubiquitous for any New Zealander educated in the 90s) and a large ($11,500) debt from travelling (which does count). Previously this would keep me up at night, now I know that the travelling debt will be clear in one year.
- Freedom: a knock on effect from knowing I'll be debt-free (not counting student loan) in one year, and will have been able to save enough money in the year after that. I don't have to stay here in boring little New Zealand, I will be free to travel, or move, It's good to have choices.
- Home: as soon as I started working I realised that I no longer had to live in a filthy, damp, dark flat, I could get a nice place, closer to town. It is only a little bit more expensive, but before working I was reluctant to make any changes that might incur any higher outgoing costs.
- Quality of life: I'm over 30, I have lived overseas for 10 years, and even though I have always worked very mundane and unskilled jobs, I always managed to save about one third of my income, I have found that impossible in New Zealand, even though my day job pays me very well for what I do, I found myself not seeing a movie, or buying a drink because it would stretch the budget too much. I don't want to think like that in my 30s.
- Sexual confidence and competence: practice may not make perfect, but it sure helps. Getting to explore a wide variety of sexual practice is both fun and educational.
- Better understanding of men: I'm learning a lot about people. Maybe because I'm not yet jaded, I'm learning that everybody needs a bit of love, that everybody wants attention, everybody wants to be liked. Some people have to pay to get that. It seems unfair as I think everybody deserves to be loved.
- Strengthening interpersonal skills: seeing the humanness in people I think makes me a better person. Some of the skills I use in the brothel (first impressions, making people feel comfortable, sales, self-promotion etc) transfer very well to other aspects of life.
So overall I'm financially more stable, I'm more confident, and generally happier. I really don't want to glamourise prostitution too much, because it's a just a job and it does have it's own disadvantages. Working a 6 day week and not being entirely truthful to people I care about is not ideal. But at this moment, for me, it's working out really well. best decision I made since moving back to New Zealand.