Can’t get laid in a brothel

I'm finding this place rather humbling. In New Zealand I found that I shone out as a more refined, elegant and eloquent lady in my mid-range brothel, here I’m struggling to gain a foothold against beautiful women who are more charming, groomed, and experienced than me. I have to up my game, but how? How does one become better at selling sex with oneself specifically? Sex sells, we know that, but with when sex is on offer from a luscious bevy of ladies how do I sell myself?

The girls are all very nice, they are really helpful and pass on tips and information about the clients freely. But holy fuck they are a league above.

There is a stunning brunette, she’s 40 but hardly looks like she has dipped into her 30s, she has a natural pose, grace and elegance, she’s used sex work to fund qualifications in practical physics. She is one of those people who I wish would write an autobiography, it would be incredibly readable.

There is an angelic lass from Perth who has come over for a couple of weeks. It’s a 3.5 hour flight for me to come from NZ, for her is was over 4 hours. She’s a hard worker, she stays all night and takes 4 hour sleep breaks then gets back to work. She comes all the way to the East Coast to earn some money and keep it separate from her clean life as a mum of 4 kids, business owner and loving wife. Two things stand out about her, one she has 4 kids to her husband and has the body of a gymnast with stunning features, and two, she talks to her husband after each shift and tells him how it went. Amazing.

There’s a 19 year old Pacific Islander, who has a face of her age but a voice and manner of an educated woman years above.

And a sweet wife who’s husband thinks she’s working at a rub-and-tug place, but misses brothel work.

There is another kiwi lass who with a wig glides across the floor like a high class prostitute or a bond girl, but at the end of the shift when she removes the wig and make up is a fresh faced, sporty girl next door.

And two utterly lovely lasses, a blonde and a brunette, so friendly and sweet, this blows me away. They know I'm only about for a week. They get tons of girls who just come through for a short time to make a few bucks, they don't need to be nice or put the effort in to get to know me.

These are genuinely lovely women, and I think that is what makes them genuinely great prostitutes. Rocking the fake tans, acrylic nails, implants, peroxide, false lashes and hair extensions are some of the most articulate, socially aware, thoughtful, interesting people I have met. This is what makes this brothel 5 stars, this babes are fucken top quality.

Holy shit this place is fancy!

After a manicure, full wax and a flight, I have arrived in Sydney, and found my way to the brothel. It's 5 stars! Friendly greeting and a quick tour, I choose my shifts for the upcoming week, lament the lack of wireless and retire to my room... it’s one of the brothel’s bedrooms. Business has been really slow so they can afford to use the space for accommodation purposes. The brothel - like the NZ one that I work in - is 24 hours, however, instead of splitting the time into two shifts 13 hours over night and 11 hours during the day all the shifts are 8 hours and overlap providing a continuous flow of ladies.

Each room has a minibar, large flat-screen TV, bed made up with an abundance of cushions, Indian cotton sheets, complementary soaps, mouthwash, shoe horn, shampoos and conditioners all packaged in tiny stylish containers. Honestly beautiful. The girls have a lovely mirrored changing room down stairs, and food is provided. No really, all food is provided.

In my NZ brothel a girl answers the door, the client is brought into a lounge of women like a lamb to the slaughter. Girls can engage in conversation or ignore the client, there is a kind of mutual respect among the girls that prevents interrupting or pushiness. Here the client is greeted by the receptionist who leads him in, offers a complementary drink and the girls introduce themselves one at a time.

The introductions are key, some girls come straight in with the sex talk asking if they are looking for anything special, others take a more friendly approach. I have been trying both, finding my footing. If there are a lot of girls on the introductions need to be kept short about 2 minutes. On a couple of occasions while introducing myself - trying to be friendly, fun, sexy, warm, genuine and charming in under 2 minutes - another girl has come up and stood a metre away. A beautiful blonde lean 22 year old. It’s really hard to keep a guys attention under those conditions.

I'm here for a week, I'll keep you posted.

dick

Occasionally clients can’t draw the line between fantasy and delusion. Recently I had this one job client who first proudly told me how he had ‘saved’ a girl from prostitution. What arrogance! Why support an industry you think someone needs to be saved from? Everything you give money to you support. dick.

Then he asked me where I worked (I’m happy to tell clients I have a day job, I even go so far to say it’s in the city or that I do office work). I coyly told him that a girl’s got to have some mystery. he asked me if I have a boyfriend, I said whether I do or not has nothing to do with our time together. Next he asked if he could have my phone number (I guess he thought his line of questioning was charming) by not my response had left coy and turned to cool: “no”.

Then he asked “maybe you could not use a condom.”

“Do you understand where you are?”

“yes”

“Have you been her before?”

“yes”

“So you understand the agreement we have here, there are certain things that are not negotiable.”

“but I just thought...”

“No exceptions.”

He lost his erection, I only felt bad for a second, he continued to sulk quietly. i got to work in peace and he eventually left a happy customer.

Still a dick though.

Taking it further

I've now become comfortable in my secret life as a part time hooker. I thought I'd take it a step further, so I bought a strap on.

Now what? I can take it into work in the hope that a change request will come up. So far only one client has indicated an interest that would warrant a device like this. I really wouldn't want to bring it up in conversation, I don't want to scare them away.

I'm thinking of creating a menu of extras that can casually sit on the bedside table, just so clients know that there are other options beyond vanilla sex and they come with an extra price. I've just got to find the delicate wording that would be both clear and tactful for such a menu. Also, what are the going rates? I'm just going to make it up based on a regular hourly rate of $200 and what I would be happy with. Here is what I have so far.

Happily provided free of charge:

Body slide with oil

Giving you a hand job

Giving you a blow job

Cuddles and spooning

Tell you a story

Listen to your story

I would be happy to provide the following services for you:

Giving anal play - $30

Rimming you - $40

Using a dildo on you - $40

Cock ring - $30

Strap-on - $50

Giving you a toe-job/foot massage - $30

Restraining you lightly (silk scarves) - $50

Blindfolding you - $30

I would be happy to receive the following from you:

Come on my back or belly - $50

Receiving toe-job/foot massage - $20

Receiving oral sex - $30

Receiving hand job - $40

Fantasy:

I dress in stockings and suspenders - $20

I dress you in stockings and suspenders - $60

Please let me know your desires, I'm open to suggestion

I don't know. I'm still thinking it through, I really want to be clear about the differences between giving and receiving. Giving a fantastically good foot massage takes a lot more work than receiving one. Giving a hand job is a lot easier for me than enduring a rough, dry and overly enthusiastic hand job from a client that can leave me raw and make the rest of the day difficult. And I have no problems with anal sex as long as I'm the one doing the penetrating.

Also, I have decided to take a working holiday for a week to Australia. I'm planning to go in, work hard for about 6 days, have a couple of days for shopping and sight seeing, make a lot of money and head back here.

Australian prostitution laws are similar to New Zealand ones. I have already done a bit of internet research, found a nice place that charges AU$300 per hour (that's NZD$380). I emailed them with photos and a link to that adult forum review and lined up some work. I'm rather proud of myself. It might be a good place to try out my menu. I hear that they charge extra for everything over there, including blow jobs, body slides and hand jobs.

Note to self, must buy a cock ring and find out what exactly I'm supposed to do with it.

Length of time I've been a working girl: 9 months

Total shifts worked: 30

Total jobs done: 92

Total unique clients: 64

An average job: In the bedroom

I had a great day yesterday, 4 bookings, three of which were regulars, and one was a new client who wanted to do some fantasy role play, I charged him an additional $80 for it. I made $600 which I think is my best day so far. I'm really getting the hang of this. Let me tell you about how a normal job is with a new client.

After the client has made the booking (see below for how we get to this point) I lead him up the stairs. I find it important to take control and establish the lead right from the start.

After we enter my room I make my first physical gesture: sometimes a light stroke to the shoulder, a touch on the cheek, sometimes a kiss. I make eye contact and offer a compliment: "mmm you smell nice", "you look like you are going to be a lot of fun", "what lovely eyes you have". I know it sound cheesy, but I want them to know that I'm happy to have them in the room and that I'm looking forward to sharing time with them.

We'll say this is an hour job, which is pretty standard. If they have visited prostitutes before they will normally start undressing. It's standard practice to have have shower first and most guys know this. A few will ask not too "I've just had a shower, I don't need another" or worse "It's ok, I'll have a shower after". There is only a couple of clients that I have let get away without showering, both regulars, one because he has difficulty walking and standing without support and the other one because I like his smell. I almost always use the line "how about I warm the shower up for you" I got that line from the lovely Dorian.

While he is in the shower I remove the cover from the bed, place the two very thin pillows on top of each other at the head of the bed and lay down a towel. Most importantly I remove my dress and with my back to the shower squirt a small dob of lubrication onto two fingers and slip it into my vagina. Logically I'd leave my dress on for as long as possible to use up more time, but it's too much of a challenge slipping in the lube without getting it on my dress. I then pose seductivly in my underwear on the bed while I wait for him to finish showering.

As soon as the shower is turned off I greet him with a fresh towel and as he steps out I offer to dry his back. It's all about timing and pacing, I dry his back, then up and down the backs of his legs by standing beside him and bending over. I sometimes talk, sometimes listen, but mostly stroke his skin and lead him over to the bed. This generally takes us to 10 past the hour.

I like to offer a massage with oil. I find this a great way to stretch out the time and make him super comfortable. I start with the back, I'm not a trained masseuse so I avoid pressure on the spine and simply try to do whatever I think feels nice. After the back, I get him to roll over. I use tons of baby oil and massage chest, arms and legs. It's important at this point to get loads of oil over the legs in order to master an excellent body slide. I remove my bra, pour oil over my chest and with is help smear it around. With both of us covered in oil several minutes can be used sliding up and down his body with mine. This works a hell of a lot better on a man with less hair.

Bu now we have got to about 25 past the hour. I use a tissue or towel to wipe oil away from his cock (it can effect the performance of the condom). Sometimes I give a handjob with lube, but mostly I put on a condom with my mouth. I generally always start this way with the client lying down on his back - he gets a nice relaxing experience where he is pleasured without having to put to much effort in or make any decisions.

Everyone is different, sometimes there are a lot of positions, I find doggy style good if I want a guy to come quickly. Sometimes guys prefer a handjob or a blowjob, sometimes they want to pleasure me, other times they are all about the kissing and cuddling.

After he comes I remove the condom, use a moist wipe or towel to wipe away any fluids. I think a lot of working girls see this as the moment that their job is done, but I like to give a good service until the end of the session. I will stroke their hair and tell them how much I enjoy being with them. I leave 10 minutes for him to shower again and dress, I often jump in the shower with him, scrub his back and shower myself. I leave the shower first so he has a bit of time to rinse off and I can dry off and dress. If I don't shower with him I wear a towel and shower after he leaves.

I always walk him to the bedroom door and give him a peck or a hug before he leaves, I tell him that I hope to see him again soon.

It's pretty simple, and it's a lot about pacing, I want to give the client the maximum amount of pleasure but I also don't want to spend 30 minutes out of every hour hard-out fucking. The guys who book longer are usually after the girlfriend experience, so a 3 hour job is less exhausting than three 40 minute jobs.

Career?

I had a performance review for my day job a few days ago, it went well my boss is happy with my work and I got a nice pay rise. But he mentioned something that got thinking a wee bit too much. He asked me if it was about time that I should think about a career instead of just a job. He's right, I'm in my 30s (my hooker age is 26, I think a good way to get a hooker age is half your age plus 9) and have never had a career.

I like to travel, so generally I grab a job, stick with it for a couple of years and save enough to travel. But now I'm starting to think about what happens next. Something I have never considered before. If it is just a job then I might as well work only 4 days a week at the office and 2 days a week at the brothel where I earn more money, have a more relaxing day and I'm a whole lot more interested in the industry.

I really like my job, and there appears to be a lot of room to move up from being an office lady, but it is not in a field that I'm interested in. I'm going to talk to a friend in London tonight, I would have chatted with him earlier but finding a reasonable time for a call between NZ and UK during the week is difficult.

Boring post, I know, at least it's short. I'll blog more about prostitution soon.

Getting a booking

One of the reasons I started this blog was because I was curious as to what actually happens in a brothel. I know what generally happens, but I was looking for details. I think I have been working long enough now to give you a general idea of a pretty average booking.

The brothel where I work is a two story building, discreetly located and with ample parking. The open plan ground floor mostly consists of a reception area, a lounge, and smoking area. The rooms are upstairs, and each girl has her own room for the entire shift.

I arrive early in the morning, I'm normally first, occasionally I meet the night girls packing up and heading home. I normally take the same room and the cleaners now know to clean my room first. I unpack my bag: liquid soap and loofa inside the shower (the soap provided is not very nice and the dispenser sometimes doesn't work), a bottle of listerine and a hair-tie outside the shower.

The bedside table has a lamp and a box of tissues provided. I place a nice display of three regular condoms, three large and three small on the table with a bottle of baby oil and a container of lubricant. In the drawer I unpack more condoms, clean underwear, moist towels and my make-up. My coat, comfortable shoes and bag is pushed under the bed.

I carry a handbag that I only use in the brothel, it contains whatever book I'm reading, notebook, pen, super-stay lipstick, mirror, a purse with condoms and lube for outcalls, menstrual sponges and tampons (just in case), deodorant, nail file, nail polish, wallet and phone. Everything I need for the day and no extra clutter.

We wait in the lounge, reading our books until the doorbell rings. Some girls chat, some girls smoke, some girls nap, we make cups of tea, and chill. We answer the door ourselves. I always have the shot of fear that on the other side of the door it might be someone I know. It hasn't happened yet, but New Zealand is a very small country. A new guy often chooses to book the girl who greeted him at the door, so it's always a good idea. The men often walk past straight to the reception desk ignoring you. I totter along behind spewing out pleasantries, and offering a hot drink or a glass of water.

The time wasters, or tire-kickers will dome straight in, get themselves a drink and sit themselves down, from the moment the doorbell rings all books are away, all shoes are on and all girls are looking as available (but not necessarily as amicable) as possible.

We get chatting, sometimes it's hard work, sometimes the conversation just flows. Many men will make a decision early and book straight away (this is all done at the reception desk with the shift manager), others need to be convinced. To be honest none of us really do much convincing, we are all nice and friendly but open flirting and overt conversation is not often done, maybe because we try to maintain a level of etiquette downstairs, or more likely because we all know it's a brothel and we can't be bothered giving it the hard sell.

Sometimes men will push it "so what do you do?", "are you a nympho?", "What are you into?" this could be because they are looking for something in particular, or it could be because they are looking for some free dirty talk for the wank-bank. I find it's best to answer with something like "my specialities are diverse" (I know that's an oxymoron I could guarantee you that the client would miss it) "is there something in particular that you are looking for?".

When a client books either they go to the shift manager who then calls the chosen girl over, or they ask the girl directly who will then lead them to the shift manager to take the booking. The shift manager is always very clear about the amount of time paid for "Lucy, could you please look after John for one hour." that way there is no misunderstanding about booking times. In order for him to relax and so he relates to me on a human level I continue my pleasantries all they way to the door. I want to ensure that I give the impression that I am providing a service, and I'm not a product for hire.

So that takes us from the door of the brothel to the door of the room. I'll tell you the rest in another post.

x Lucy

It's the lies that hurt

I find the lying difficult. Only to the people I care about. 5 days a week I head off to work at my lovely day job and come home to my flat that I share with 5 others. We all ask each other 'how's your day'. On the 6th day of the week they kinda know I'm not at work, but I always disappear before 9am and return sometime after 7pm. I think my flatmates might assume I go to my office job on Saturdays. Occasionally they ask where I'm going or where I've been, I always say to a friend's house, I use the name of The Manager, it make me feel like it is less of a lie.

This I'm ok with, I like my flatmates but I'm not close to them.

I do have other friends who I want to tell, I know they will be cool with it, but I just don't have any reason to tell them and I'd prefer to keep my prostitution information limited to a need-to-know list. This knowledge that I'm keeping secrets from people I like doesn't sit well with me, and has, over the past year, resulted in a resurgence of an annoying social anxiety disorder: blushing.

I know blushing is normal and no big deal, but it can really hinder my ability to be myself. I tend to be an open and honest person, and fearing that I might be found out, knowing that I'm lying by omission increases the frequency, depth and sensation of my blushes. I used to have a huge blushing problem a few years ago, I when to a hypnotherapist (that made it much worse), a clinical phycologist (who was patronising and condescending) and finally a acupuncturist that reduced the blushing and my general anxiety levels.

So I've gone back to an acupuncturist, I find the sessions painful and the anxiety of seeing the acupuncturist actually now outweighs the anxiety from blushing (or anticipating blushes that inevitably result in blushing). But it's not as bad as it could be, if I think it is getting out of hand I might just tell my friend what I do. But for now I'll keep my secrets to myself and deal with the sensation of heat and redness with as much grace and dignity as I can muster.

Fortunately I don't blush in the brothel, guess I'm just comfortable there, nothing to hide.

Getting better

I've had some interesting clients, and I'm getting regulars. Overall business dropped off rapidly for a while but is slowly coming back. When I started 4 jobs was average, now the days are only one of two jobs with a lot of waiting around in between. There's several contributing factors, I'm no longer new, so business from brothel regulars will drop off for me unless I can get my own personal regulars. The brothel's website has been down for over 2 months, I think in the sex industry if you don't have an online presence you are totally invisible to potential new clients, and it looks like my brothel has no intention of getting the site up again. Finally, business is slow all over, the agency Dorian works for normally has 6 clients per day, some days now it only gets one. I guess as an economic indicator the sex industry lags rather than leads.

I've started to get some really fabulous regulars. There is a beautiful gentleman who sees me monthly, the first time he brought chocolates, as he has got to know me he has begun bringing me books - non-fiction, Christopher Hitchens and the like. It's really sweet and he totally spoils me. Another weekly regular that I look forward to seeing is a young man who enjoys a really intimate hour and a half of holding and kissing. he is one of those clients I always want to ask what brings them to a brothel. And then there is one other who also likes the 'girlfriend experience' who has become a regular, he is overweight, it has opened my eyes up to overweight people, there is something actually quite nice about being with a larger man, they are warmer, more huggable and soft in a very comforting way.

I hope I don't become complacent or bored, I want to be able to maintain the same standard of service over a long period of time. Satisfying my clients tends to give me a great deal of satisfaction myself.

There is a regular in the brothel who I have had a job with once... actually there a several regulars who come to the brothel who I have had a job with once. We call them tire-kickers or time-wasters. But this particular one is a bit draining, he haggles, and haggles, asking if he can come twice, or more, asking if he has to take a shower, asking if I can extend the time, asking if we can do a deal. He's asian which doesn't help with racial stereotyping. I'm going to give myself a rule that if I can't get him to make a booking in 10 minutes I'm going to walk away. He's just not worth it. It's a brothel, not a bar or a drop in centre.

I've had a bit of an emotional week, I broke it off with the boy. He is really lovely and I absolutely fancy the pants off him, but he wasn't treating me very well, he hasn't been telling whole truths and also making commitments (like spending more time with me, doing more stuff together etc) that he just can't honour. I know that he likes me too, and that he does want to be able to be with me but he just doesn't have the time for me, and as much as it hurts me to break it I kind of have to. I can't accept being treated badly even if it means the alternative is the horrible empty loneliness of having something lovely for a very brief period of time and then losing it.

Wow, bit of a rant there, I'm still a bit fragile and tender.

But in other news (good news too) I have managed to get a spot for a week in an amazing brothel in Sydney. So I'm popping over to Australia for a weeks working holiday. If this works out I'll take more trips over. The prostitution laws in Australia are similar to New Zealand. I'm looking forward to it.

Also I brought a strap-on and have started writing a menu of extras that I thought I might like to offer. I'll let you know once I have it worked out.

Shifts worked: 25

Total jobs: 76

Unique clients: 59

Keeping the balance

Aside from the risk of STDs - that are greatly reduced though obsessive use of condoms and lube - a working girl needs to watch out for other health risks. I've now had my Hep B immunity checked, they never got back to me, so I assume in the NZ health care system that no news is good news and I don't need a booster. I have also had a flu shot for this year, if you are suspicious of vaccinations watch this TED talk, vaccinations are brilliant, they save lives... and in this case prevent the inconvenience of being sick for a couple of weeks.

As far as I know there are 3 main, minor, health issues that regularly effect prostitutes and here is how I'm going to work on preventing them:

Thrush

It's a common and annoying fungal infection that results in a very and uncomfortable vagina, and discharge that is not unlike cottage cheese. I don't know exactly why it effects prostitutes, maybe it is the amount of lubricant that we use that upsets the balance in the vagina and turns a nice healthy balance of natural yeast into a horrid angry world of angst, discomfort, pain and stress. I think the trick with thrush is not to over treat it. I felt an itch a couple of weeks ago, and thought it could be thrush and decided not do a panic buy of the strongest medication. I cut out sugar (and didn't enjoy my morning tea nearly as much) and started to eat at least one natural yogurt each day, and the itch went away. I now take a capsule of "good bacteria" (acidophilus which is in natural yogurt) each morning to help stay in balance. This has had a fantastic side effect of helping my bowels that have been dodgy since a stint in Africa a couple of years ago.

UTI

Urinary tract infections, again very common for working girls, a bacterial infection that effects the urinary tract. I'm no doctor, but I did read a reason why this is a problem for working girls: when females are turned on the clitoris swells which pushes closed the urinary tract preventing any bacteria from getting in. Prostitutes are more likely to have sex when they are not turned on. A couple of the symptoms are always needing to pee, and a feeling you need to pee. So my prevention plan for this one is to pee. Yep, I maintain a high intake of liquids during my shift and keep the liquids moving through me to flush out my system. If I think I might be getting a UTI, I hit the cranberry juice hard and that seems to clear it up. There are concentrated cranberry tablets available, but cranberry juice is delicious.

BV

This one is new to me, but when Dorian described it to me I'm sure I have had it before but just didn't know what it was... the worst sounding name ever: bacterial vaginosis. Eugh. Like thrush it is an imbalance of natural bacteria, different bacteria I guess. The symptoms of BV are very smelly vaginal discharge that is (unlike thrush) watery, and itchyness. Sounds horrible. But apparently it has an easy fix with a cream or tablet from the chemist and I've read that eating garlic helps. I have heard (but could be wrong) that it can be brought on by frequent use of lubricant which can upset the ph balance. I'm going to deal with this one just by being aware of it, and hopefully catching it early if I do get it.

So that is my routine for a happy vagina, bacteria tablets, drinking loads of fluids, cotton underwear when not on shift. I also rinse my mouth with anti-bacterial listerine after every client, take cold sore prevention tablets, and I'm going to start cleaning the showers with anti-bacterial disinfectant at the beginning of every shift to prevent athlete's foot.

I feel like it is a weird game of killing bacteria (the bad bacteria) and growing bacteria (the good bacteria) to maintain that perfect bacterial balance.

Getting it on... line

I'm developing an stronger online presence. My profile picture is now of me, yes, that is actually me with the majority of my face cut out and no tattoos showing. I also now have a twitter page for discovering and sharing interesting tweetable links and info that we stumble upon along the way. You can find me at http://twitter.com/LucyJtweets .

I was thinking as I cropped out my own face who I was protecting by hiding my part-time occupation. Really, my family are pretty open minded, they know me and they know I make often strange lifestyle choices but my choices are reasoned and I have a good sense of balance. Sure my mother wouldn't brag about it to her friends, but she was very tolerant when I tried my hand (tits, arse) at lap dancing a few years ago. My friends also know me and they are open minded. It's all the other people, the people that I perhaps shouldn't care about.

I don't want any of the customers from my day job to know I spend 11 hours a week being a whore because they might not see it the same way that I do and judge me or my company. I don't want to hear the opinions of my flatmates' friends or my workmates' friends or my friends' friends on the sex industry or what it means to be a hooker. So I don't tell anyone to protect myself from other people's judgement. Some days I think I should be braver than that, other days I think I'm a very wise woman with a good sense of self preservation.

I must say though I have a lot of admiration for those who work in the porn industry and those working girls who have their faces showing on brothel websites and escort forums.

Work on Saturday was good, one lovely regular and a couple of new clients. One bought me a box of delicious handmade Belgium chocolates. Yum.

I'm getting better at talking dirty too, I had a client who spent 3 hours talking about fantasies. That was fun, I would just take his ideas and run with them thrown in a few extra adjectives along the way. I also had another client who was into stockings, this foot fetish thing was not as easy as I thought it was going to be. He was not very clear about his kink. He asked if my stockings were laddered or dirty, I said no (because they weren't) he was most disappointed because that was what he was into. If he had just said that to begin with I would have been happy to play along. It's all about communication in the end.

Shifts worked: 14

Total jobs: 51

Unique clients: 46

A proud prostitute but a silent prostitute

I'm enjoying being a prostitute, I find it interesting and unusual and I feel like it gives me insight into strange and wondrous worlds. I also feel like it stops me from disintegrating into the hum-drum averageness of a mundane life (a great fear of mine). But I can't share this with anyone. I guess that is where the blog comes in. There are wonderful people in my life who, when they say "what did you get up to on the weekend?" I'd like to answer fully, honestly, openly, have a bit of a laugh and move on. But that can't happen. I'm a whore and that's not normal... or acceptable.

It's kind of annoying in many respects, but it is part and parcel of the job. I am grateful that I have Dorian close by to chat to, and Amazon only an email away. An excellent example is recently I got a really great review on New Zealand Adult Forums. I was utterly delighted, I have never read a written review of my sexual performance before. The reviewer was wonderful in that he gave away enough practical details to be accurate but left enough out that my identity and an air of mystery remained intact. I was so excited I emailed the full review to both Amazon and Dorian. But I can't post it on facebook or print it out for my mum to stick on the fridge. I guess forced anonymity keeps me humble in a way.

I take great pride in my job and really, really want to deliver fantastic service, but sometimes it's hard to tell if you are really reaching each individual customer on their level. I know you can't please all the people all the time, but I want to be the best I can be for each client. I do some things better than others, I'm great at providing the 'girlfriend experience' and I'm not so good at providing the 'pornstar experience' which means I'm good at listening, smiling and making eye-contact. I'm not so brilliant at athletic fucking or talking dirty. The latter I'm working on. The Em & Lo blog used to have a really good post on dirty talk suggestions, they used to have a massive amount of really good posts that got lost when they changed their URL. Oh well at least there are places like about.com for dirty talking basics. Yep, even a pro has to look it up sometimes.

Talking about blogs, I really enjoy reading Cocaine Girl, a very human, very raw, very honest account from a London prostitute, writer, and junkie. I admire her and at the same time I want to save her, and then I criticise myself for wanting to save her as I know there would be many people who would not think my lifestyle choices are my own and would want to save me from myself. I also like a blog called Courtesan: luxuriant woman which has a variety of rather poetic resources, but can be a bit too media-heavy for my little computer to handle.

Did I mention I got a fantastic client review on an adult forums site?

Working during my period

This post was bound to happen sometime. I have my period for 5 days out of each 30, I work 3 days out of 30, one day I was going to work a shift while I had my period. My period is ridiculously heavy for the first 30 hours and then very light for the rest of the time. On Saturday I happened to work during that 1st 30 hours.

I thought I had it all under control. I have had sex during my period before with the assistance of a fantastic product recommended to me by Amazon called a Beppy. It's an artificial sponge that has been shaped to sit over the cervix and collect the blood, it has a hole molded in one side that you can hook a finger into to retrieve. Beppys even come in a lovely 'wet' variety that have a nice smelling lube that makes it easier for insertion and kind of cleans as it goes in. Wonderful product. Not sold in New Zealand (I'll probably buy them online and get them sent over... it's worth it).

I had a menstrual sponge which I thought was the same. Mistake. Firstly the sponge was natural so it was inconsistently textured and not as dense at the beppy, therefore it couldn't hold as much blood. Secondly it wasn't as soft as a beppy and I thought it might have been felt by the clients. and thirdly there was no hole, it's a sphere, which meant the easiest way of getting it out was to pry it way from the sides with the tips of the fingers or use an opposable thumb... thumbs are much shorter than other digits and this is not an easy task. Removal involved squatting at the bottom of the shower attempting to retrieve this elusive device that had been pushed way, way up there. Fortunately the heavy bleeding meant the sponge was full of liquid and easier to retrieve. If I couldn't get it out I would have had to had a bath to fill it with water and dig it out then. It's a messy and unglamorous business. Of course done only after the client had left the room.

I had two jobs, both lovely men, and at the end of both jobs there was blood on the end of the condom. Eugh. On both occasions I swiftly move in and removed the condom, folding into a tissue before they noticed. During orgasm a part of the brain shuts down, there's an interesting article about it on How Stuff Works. So while they slowly recovered full brain function it was not too difficult to sneak that past the clients. And there was no blood anywhere else so I think I managed to get away with it this time.

What I have learnt for next time: 1. Avoid working during the heaviest time of my period, 2. when using a sponge only put it in just before sex, use a tampon for the rest of the time and 3. get some Beppys from Europe.

I'm not very good at remembering people

I can't seem to remember faces, or names particularly well. Recently I have seen a few men about town who may or may not have been my clients. A couple have given me a little nod so I have nodded back and smiled then instantly wished I had winked because that would be a much cuter gesture... actually, I'm not that practiced with my wink, it might end up looking like I have something in my eye.

Tonight I was at a bar with some friends and met a mutual acquaintance who maybe had been a client, maybe not, I honestly don't know. I have been over my notes and don't seem to recognise him from there. But he did call me 'baby' at the bar and said when we were introduced "oh we already know each other very well". Do we? It is quite possible that he was never a client but we have met before. I do wish I had a better memory for people.

Since I last blogged I have worked another 2 shifts, the highlights include an old chinese man who was like a 12 year-old boy in mentality, he would grab my breast like he was squeezing melons, squeal in delight then hug me enthusiastically. There was an Afghani man who was hairy like a gorilla and who had shaved himself with clippers so he was prickly all over and the sheets stuck to him like velcro. There was a lovely truck driver who just wanted to talk, from him I learnt how to bleed poppies for opium. There was also a endearingly sweet man who was a virgin, I asked him if he wanted to stay that way, he said yes, so I gave him an amazing body slide - thanks to the amazing body slide technique taught to me by Dorian - and he left satisfied and with his virginity still in tack.

The boy continues to be amazingly tolerant of my lifestyle choice, a quality that I treasure, it can't be easy dating a hooker. I asked around the other working girls and they generally don't tell their partners. One client I had dated a working girl for a long time and said he found it very hard. Relationships do change things, I can't quite put my finger on it at the moment but I find I spent a lot more time acting at work now, as opposed to just being. I don't speak to the boy about specific events at work. I even found myself unusually uncomfortable talking about a recent court case in New Zealand in which a client was fined for requesting to not use a condom during oral sex (I have not been able to find any information on this online).

I went to my doctor today, got a prescription for condoms and an appointment to have a blood test to see if my last hepatitis B vaccination is still working. Prevention is better than cure.

Shifts worked : 10

Total Jobs : 41

Total unique clients : 38

In a good place right now

Today at my day job my boss - seeing I had another light week ahead - jokingly suggested that I go 'on the game' to help the company pay off it's next GST bill. I blushed, hopefully it appeared to be a blush of 'oh-the-suggestion' more than a blush of 'if-only-you-knew'. It would never have been interpreted as a blush of 'oh-I-say-that's-inappropriate-humour-for-the-workplace' as my day-job is a very fun, light, un-PC and easy-going place to work.

I didn't work in the brothel over the weekend, I had other things to do. I love the flexibility of this job. I caught up with Dorian, she occasionally does jobs for another brothel, it's a lot more exclusive than mine, and the work tends to be on-call rather than shift work. Although to demonstrate either how good she is, or how high-class her establishment is, sometimes she can be booked a week in advance.

It was great to sit down with another working girl and just chat. It has made me realise how much has changed in my life since I started working as a prostitute. Even though I only work part-time the changes have been immense.

- Finances: there is no doubt, this occupation pays well, I have a student loan debt (which doesn't really count, they are pretty ubiquitous for any New Zealander educated in the 90s) and a large ($11,500) debt from travelling (which does count). Previously this would keep me up at night, now I know that the travelling debt will be clear in one year.

- Freedom: a knock on effect from knowing I'll be debt-free (not counting student loan) in one year, and will have been able to save enough money in the year after that. I don't have to stay here in boring little New Zealand, I will be free to travel, or move, It's good to have choices.

- Home: as soon as I started working I realised that I no longer had to live in a filthy, damp, dark flat, I could get a nice place, closer to town. It is only a little bit more expensive, but before working I was reluctant to make any changes that might incur any higher outgoing costs.

- Quality of life: I'm over 30, I have lived overseas for 10 years, and even though I have always worked very mundane and unskilled jobs, I always managed to save about one third of my income, I have found that impossible in New Zealand, even though my day job pays me very well for what I do, I found myself not seeing a movie, or buying a drink because it would stretch the budget too much. I don't want to think like that in my 30s.

- Sexual confidence and competence: practice may not make perfect, but it sure helps. Getting to explore a wide variety of sexual practice is both fun and educational.

- Better understanding of men: I'm learning a lot about people. Maybe because I'm not yet jaded, I'm learning that everybody needs a bit of love, that everybody wants attention, everybody wants to be liked. Some people have to pay to get that. It seems unfair as I think everybody deserves to be loved.

- Strengthening interpersonal skills: seeing the humanness in people I think makes me a better person. Some of the skills I use in the brothel (first impressions, making people feel comfortable, sales, self-promotion etc) transfer very well to other aspects of life.

So overall I'm financially more stable, I'm more confident, and generally happier. I really don't want to glamourise prostitution too much, because it's a just a job and it does have it's own disadvantages. Working a 6 day week and not being entirely truthful to people I care about is not ideal. But at this moment, for me, it's working out really well. best decision I made since moving back to New Zealand.

A posh wank and telling The Boy.

Yesterday's shift was my slowest one yet. Only two bookings all day. It was Waitangi Day in New Zealand, a public holiday with a lot of events on, So even though it fell on a Saturday I guess the punters had other plans.

I did a "posh wank" which consisted of pulling down on the client's balls and putting a couple of fingers up his arse (inside a condom and with lube) while he masturbates. I started out trying to find the prostate, I understand it's about 4cm up on the belly side, my fingers are not that long so when I thought I had it I was limited to the types of strokes I could do. I then realised I had completely the wrong approach: I needed to look him in the eyes, thrust my hips and look like I was fucking him. It's about connecting with the client and attending to his specific needs, not about attempting a by-the-book technique. It was fun, I told him he should buy a strap-on and bring it in next time.

I have been on a few dates with a very lovely boy. It's all going well and he's utterly desirable. I invited him over to my house for dinner (with sex very much implied). We met up in the park before hand and chatted about our days, I was nervous. I would be disappointed if he couldn't handle it. I would understand if he wanted out - not every man can handle dating a women who regularly has sex with strangers. But I thought that it was his right to know what kind of woman he was getting involved with. Also, I like this guy, I want to spend time with him, I want to get to know him better, the longer I don't mention it the harder it would be, and the more I would have to omit along the way. I didn't really want to tell him, but I couldn't see a way to not tell him. Better sooner than later.

I had made him promise to keep it a secret first. I had spent the week trying to find a way to phrase it softly, I went with "On Saturdays I work part time as a prostitute". Pretty to-the-point. Surprisingly, it worked. It's cool, we were able to have an open and frank conversation. Me admitting to being less-than-ideal as a date actually allowed him to open up and admit something he had been reluctant to share. And it was all good, in fact very cathartic.

That night we had delicious sex with no time limits, no enforced showering, no secret insertions of lube, no obsessive checking of the condom, and a hell of a lot of fun. Awesome.

My first rejected client

Another day shift at the brothel, I have settled into if comfortably although I'm missing having a 2 day weekend. I do well, I have one definite regular and have received positive feedback. I've noticed that although I'm older, shorter, fatter and less provocatively dressed than the other girls I often do better.

Yesterday I got my first cancelation/rejection. A client had spent a lot of time in the lounge treating it more like a pub than a brothel, he was quite drunk. Deciding to be a bit cheeky and not to waste my time I simply said "Are you booking or looking luv?" With that he booked one hour. At the base of the stairs he grabbed my butt, I told him he had to wait till we were in the room. At the top of the stairs he did it again - "look honey, you got to understand that I don't tolerate bad behaviour, so before we go into this room you have got to understand that there are rules and etiquette and if you play up I have not problem in kicking you out." He didn't appreciate my tone or attitude so decided to cancel.

He hung around in the brothel and complained to the other girls and clients that he was being bossed around, not the best but I think empathy was biased on my side. One of the girls said that he is pretty rough even when not drunk, so even though I felt a bit shaky afterwards I was the right call and I'm glad I laid down the law.

Best thing I got from that is knowing that the shift manger had got my back. Totally. She had no qualms offering to transfer the client's hour to another girl, and when he decided to eventually leave she had no qualms giving him a full refund. She also didn't feel the need to ask me why he came back down stairs, I never had to justify or explain the clients dissatisfaction. That was cool.

I'm providing a service, I want to do the best job can, I have pride in my work, I endeavour to show each client a good time. This only works with a mutual respect and understanding. One of the understandings is that that room is my room and I set the rules and limits.

In other news, outside of work, I fancy a boy. This is new for me, I have been single for a long time, and what's playing on my head as we start dating is, when and how do I tell someone I want a sexual relationship with that I also have sex with other people? I believe in honesty, but I also believe in self preservation.

An expensive indulgence

Last Saturday I got my second outcall, this one was quite different. A young lad in his late teens or early twenties living in his well-to-do parent's house. He was on holiday and working in retail. Boy, this kid was sweet, quite nervous, thoughtful, friendly, sensitive, funny, kind. He was definitely a geeky (in a good way), and super intelligent.

Knowing that he worked in retail and was a university student I had to wonder, why would he spend so much money on the affections of a prostitute delivered to is door... this would be so much more of a sacrifice for him than for the middle aged business men who frequent the brothel. The kid had competent social skills, he was at university so had access to lots of girls, it seemed weird to me.

Then it dawned on me, he was sensitive and intelligent. I think the service I provided was about practice and trying new things. What intelligent young man would want to bumble through his first experiences with a girl he fancied when he could get some practice hours under his belt and really get to know his way around a woman's body without the emotional attachment or the worry of what she thought of him.

I now have a regular slot at the brothel doing a day shift one day a week, so I'm officially a part time prostitute. Whoo-hoo. I have also refined my notes for my own curiosity and record, it helps to have them on hand when a familiar face walks through the door, I can quickly look them up and remember what they like. I had my first repeat customer too, a sign of a good hooker, it gives me pride in my work.

Here is that data I'm collecting (note a few of these things I have to guess as I'm not going to interview every client or have the time to extract the information in conversation, and of course a couple are just my opinion):

How much time did he book?

what is his age?

what is his nationality?

what is his ethnicity?

is he circumcised?

did he ask for extras? (I don't do extras like anal or without condom but of course get asked)

what is his kissing like on a scale of one to ten?

what is his sexual ability like on a scale of one to ten?

Is he a unique or repeat customer?

Was it an outcall?

I think I can honestly maintain this job for a full year. My biggest fear at the moment is the social stigma, it'll be big for me if people found out and I don't sit comfortably with secrets. Although having said that it does kind of feel like I have a secret identity... almost like a superhero.

Shifts worked: 6

Unique clients: 25

Total jobs: 26

January sales and a thesis to prove

Back from holiday and back to work. I have a list now of the details that I'll collect. Mostly because it's fascinating, a bit because it is nice to have a record and know if I don't write it down it could all fade into a haze, and also because I have a theory...

Previous experience has led me to believe that circumcised men complain more about wearing condoms (presumably because they have lost a useful section of skin with about 10,000 delightful nerve endings and because their sensitive internal organ has been forced to become an exposed external organ) and circumcised men are worse at sex (again I assume it is due to the loss of feeling that they need to bang away like pumpjack). Male circumcision never bothered me before but now as I'm seeing the direct effect it has on men the more I am outraged by it.

Obviously whether a man is 'good' as sex or not is personal opinion, so any data I collect on that is utterly fallible. However it has astounded me how many men protest using a condom when with a prostitute. I mean really, what are they thinking!? And those requests can categorically be monitored as they are declined.

I also indulged in the January sales buying 4 cocktail dresses for work. Next month I'll start saving.