In a good place right now

Today at my day job my boss - seeing I had another light week ahead - jokingly suggested that I go 'on the game' to help the company pay off it's next GST bill. I blushed, hopefully it appeared to be a blush of 'oh-the-suggestion' more than a blush of 'if-only-you-knew'. It would never have been interpreted as a blush of 'oh-I-say-that's-inappropriate-humour-for-the-workplace' as my day-job is a very fun, light, un-PC and easy-going place to work.

I didn't work in the brothel over the weekend, I had other things to do. I love the flexibility of this job. I caught up with Dorian, she occasionally does jobs for another brothel, it's a lot more exclusive than mine, and the work tends to be on-call rather than shift work. Although to demonstrate either how good she is, or how high-class her establishment is, sometimes she can be booked a week in advance.

It was great to sit down with another working girl and just chat. It has made me realise how much has changed in my life since I started working as a prostitute. Even though I only work part-time the changes have been immense.

- Finances: there is no doubt, this occupation pays well, I have a student loan debt (which doesn't really count, they are pretty ubiquitous for any New Zealander educated in the 90s) and a large ($11,500) debt from travelling (which does count). Previously this would keep me up at night, now I know that the travelling debt will be clear in one year.

- Freedom: a knock on effect from knowing I'll be debt-free (not counting student loan) in one year, and will have been able to save enough money in the year after that. I don't have to stay here in boring little New Zealand, I will be free to travel, or move, It's good to have choices.

- Home: as soon as I started working I realised that I no longer had to live in a filthy, damp, dark flat, I could get a nice place, closer to town. It is only a little bit more expensive, but before working I was reluctant to make any changes that might incur any higher outgoing costs.

- Quality of life: I'm over 30, I have lived overseas for 10 years, and even though I have always worked very mundane and unskilled jobs, I always managed to save about one third of my income, I have found that impossible in New Zealand, even though my day job pays me very well for what I do, I found myself not seeing a movie, or buying a drink because it would stretch the budget too much. I don't want to think like that in my 30s.

- Sexual confidence and competence: practice may not make perfect, but it sure helps. Getting to explore a wide variety of sexual practice is both fun and educational.

- Better understanding of men: I'm learning a lot about people. Maybe because I'm not yet jaded, I'm learning that everybody needs a bit of love, that everybody wants attention, everybody wants to be liked. Some people have to pay to get that. It seems unfair as I think everybody deserves to be loved.

- Strengthening interpersonal skills: seeing the humanness in people I think makes me a better person. Some of the skills I use in the brothel (first impressions, making people feel comfortable, sales, self-promotion etc) transfer very well to other aspects of life.

So overall I'm financially more stable, I'm more confident, and generally happier. I really don't want to glamourise prostitution too much, because it's a just a job and it does have it's own disadvantages. Working a 6 day week and not being entirely truthful to people I care about is not ideal. But at this moment, for me, it's working out really well. best decision I made since moving back to New Zealand.

A posh wank and telling The Boy.

Yesterday's shift was my slowest one yet. Only two bookings all day. It was Waitangi Day in New Zealand, a public holiday with a lot of events on, So even though it fell on a Saturday I guess the punters had other plans.

I did a "posh wank" which consisted of pulling down on the client's balls and putting a couple of fingers up his arse (inside a condom and with lube) while he masturbates. I started out trying to find the prostate, I understand it's about 4cm up on the belly side, my fingers are not that long so when I thought I had it I was limited to the types of strokes I could do. I then realised I had completely the wrong approach: I needed to look him in the eyes, thrust my hips and look like I was fucking him. It's about connecting with the client and attending to his specific needs, not about attempting a by-the-book technique. It was fun, I told him he should buy a strap-on and bring it in next time.

I have been on a few dates with a very lovely boy. It's all going well and he's utterly desirable. I invited him over to my house for dinner (with sex very much implied). We met up in the park before hand and chatted about our days, I was nervous. I would be disappointed if he couldn't handle it. I would understand if he wanted out - not every man can handle dating a women who regularly has sex with strangers. But I thought that it was his right to know what kind of woman he was getting involved with. Also, I like this guy, I want to spend time with him, I want to get to know him better, the longer I don't mention it the harder it would be, and the more I would have to omit along the way. I didn't really want to tell him, but I couldn't see a way to not tell him. Better sooner than later.

I had made him promise to keep it a secret first. I had spent the week trying to find a way to phrase it softly, I went with "On Saturdays I work part time as a prostitute". Pretty to-the-point. Surprisingly, it worked. It's cool, we were able to have an open and frank conversation. Me admitting to being less-than-ideal as a date actually allowed him to open up and admit something he had been reluctant to share. And it was all good, in fact very cathartic.

That night we had delicious sex with no time limits, no enforced showering, no secret insertions of lube, no obsessive checking of the condom, and a hell of a lot of fun. Awesome.

My first rejected client

Another day shift at the brothel, I have settled into if comfortably although I'm missing having a 2 day weekend. I do well, I have one definite regular and have received positive feedback. I've noticed that although I'm older, shorter, fatter and less provocatively dressed than the other girls I often do better.

Yesterday I got my first cancelation/rejection. A client had spent a lot of time in the lounge treating it more like a pub than a brothel, he was quite drunk. Deciding to be a bit cheeky and not to waste my time I simply said "Are you booking or looking luv?" With that he booked one hour. At the base of the stairs he grabbed my butt, I told him he had to wait till we were in the room. At the top of the stairs he did it again - "look honey, you got to understand that I don't tolerate bad behaviour, so before we go into this room you have got to understand that there are rules and etiquette and if you play up I have not problem in kicking you out." He didn't appreciate my tone or attitude so decided to cancel.

He hung around in the brothel and complained to the other girls and clients that he was being bossed around, not the best but I think empathy was biased on my side. One of the girls said that he is pretty rough even when not drunk, so even though I felt a bit shaky afterwards I was the right call and I'm glad I laid down the law.

Best thing I got from that is knowing that the shift manger had got my back. Totally. She had no qualms offering to transfer the client's hour to another girl, and when he decided to eventually leave she had no qualms giving him a full refund. She also didn't feel the need to ask me why he came back down stairs, I never had to justify or explain the clients dissatisfaction. That was cool.

I'm providing a service, I want to do the best job can, I have pride in my work, I endeavour to show each client a good time. This only works with a mutual respect and understanding. One of the understandings is that that room is my room and I set the rules and limits.

In other news, outside of work, I fancy a boy. This is new for me, I have been single for a long time, and what's playing on my head as we start dating is, when and how do I tell someone I want a sexual relationship with that I also have sex with other people? I believe in honesty, but I also believe in self preservation.

An expensive indulgence

Last Saturday I got my second outcall, this one was quite different. A young lad in his late teens or early twenties living in his well-to-do parent's house. He was on holiday and working in retail. Boy, this kid was sweet, quite nervous, thoughtful, friendly, sensitive, funny, kind. He was definitely a geeky (in a good way), and super intelligent.

Knowing that he worked in retail and was a university student I had to wonder, why would he spend so much money on the affections of a prostitute delivered to is door... this would be so much more of a sacrifice for him than for the middle aged business men who frequent the brothel. The kid had competent social skills, he was at university so had access to lots of girls, it seemed weird to me.

Then it dawned on me, he was sensitive and intelligent. I think the service I provided was about practice and trying new things. What intelligent young man would want to bumble through his first experiences with a girl he fancied when he could get some practice hours under his belt and really get to know his way around a woman's body without the emotional attachment or the worry of what she thought of him.

I now have a regular slot at the brothel doing a day shift one day a week, so I'm officially a part time prostitute. Whoo-hoo. I have also refined my notes for my own curiosity and record, it helps to have them on hand when a familiar face walks through the door, I can quickly look them up and remember what they like. I had my first repeat customer too, a sign of a good hooker, it gives me pride in my work.

Here is that data I'm collecting (note a few of these things I have to guess as I'm not going to interview every client or have the time to extract the information in conversation, and of course a couple are just my opinion):

How much time did he book?

what is his age?

what is his nationality?

what is his ethnicity?

is he circumcised?

did he ask for extras? (I don't do extras like anal or without condom but of course get asked)

what is his kissing like on a scale of one to ten?

what is his sexual ability like on a scale of one to ten?

Is he a unique or repeat customer?

Was it an outcall?

I think I can honestly maintain this job for a full year. My biggest fear at the moment is the social stigma, it'll be big for me if people found out and I don't sit comfortably with secrets. Although having said that it does kind of feel like I have a secret identity... almost like a superhero.

Shifts worked: 6

Unique clients: 25

Total jobs: 26

January sales and a thesis to prove

Back from holiday and back to work. I have a list now of the details that I'll collect. Mostly because it's fascinating, a bit because it is nice to have a record and know if I don't write it down it could all fade into a haze, and also because I have a theory...

Previous experience has led me to believe that circumcised men complain more about wearing condoms (presumably because they have lost a useful section of skin with about 10,000 delightful nerve endings and because their sensitive internal organ has been forced to become an exposed external organ) and circumcised men are worse at sex (again I assume it is due to the loss of feeling that they need to bang away like pumpjack). Male circumcision never bothered me before but now as I'm seeing the direct effect it has on men the more I am outraged by it.

Obviously whether a man is 'good' as sex or not is personal opinion, so any data I collect on that is utterly fallible. However it has astounded me how many men protest using a condom when with a prostitute. I mean really, what are they thinking!? And those requests can categorically be monitored as they are declined.

I also indulged in the January sales buying 4 cocktail dresses for work. Next month I'll start saving.

Happy Holidays

The joy of a New Zealand Christmas is that the Summer weather is wonderful. It's the best time of year to take off.

I worked on Christmas Eve - my first day shift. It was a very civilised 9am - 7pm slot which suits me a lot better that the 7pm - 9am night(mare) shift. It was very steady and I managed to get 6 jobs; my largest yet.

The brothel was closed on Christmas day. I would not have worked Christmas day, it's a day where family comes first. I ended up having a great day hanging out with my immediate family.

I worked Boxing Day which was much quieter, only 4 jobs. But, I had my first outcall. What happens on an outcall: the driver drops the girl outside the house/hotel, she goes in, she receives and counts the money and then phones the brothel. If everything is ok she simply says so, of anything is not ok here is a subtle code word slipped into the sentence. If that code word is said the driver will come back to the door otherwise the driver will slip away.

I have never felt more hookerish than knocking on someone's door at two in the afternoon deep in the suburbs whilst wearing an evening dress and stilettos... only to emerge smoothing my hair an hour later.

Over the weekend I also has the pleasure of meeting my favourite client (so far). A salesman, sweet, straight to the point and absolutely comfortable with prostitution (it seems amazing how many clients are not that comfortable with hiring a woman for sex despite the fact that that is what they are there for). He comes for sex, he is polite and friendly but never in doubt that he is there for a service. He knows the rules and doesn't overstep the mark. He would be a regular that I would be delighted to see again.

One of the things I have been curious about is the numbers, how many people a prostitute has sex with, so I'll keep a running total.

Shifts worked: 4

Unique clients: 19

Total jobs: 19

I'm thinking about taking the opportunity to start recording other details (the relation between foot size and penis size has been well documented as myth so I won't bother with that one) I was thinking about a comparison between those who attempt to take liberties (ask not to wear a condom or not take a shower) to demographics like age or nationality. I'll have a think about it and come up with a spreadsheet for the new year.

I have changed the setting so that now you can make comments anonymously - but you still have to do a catchapa.

Deal breakers

Prostitution is not your normal day job. It can be physically and emotionally draining, the service we provide the clients is personal, intimate and completely customised. There are a lot of things to consider so I've come up with a list of deal-breakers. When I know that this is not right for me, or when I've had enough. I'm not going to put a time limit on it, nor will I pack it in if I have a bad night... all jobs have good days and bad days. it's a learning curve, this is something I want to get good at. It's something I want to learn.

deal-breakers:

• If part time prostitution in any way effects my day-job. I love my day job, I get paid well for what I do, it's fun and secure. I don't ever want to turn up to work tired, run-down or not focused.

• If I ever feel like the management has not got my back. I am pretty good at looking after myself, and I have the law on my side but if push came to shove I have to be certain that the establishment put me before the client.

• If I ever don't want to do it. Seems obvious I know, but many people stay in a job they don't like. I'm doing this for interest not for need.

I'm sure I'll come back and add to this page, but for now, that's it.

I'm going to pop in to the brothel to see what their Christmas hours are and if I can pick up a day shift before I head off on a Summer break, I have a cute red dress and a santa hat that really doesn't get enough time out of the closet.

Friends

I have had the very lucky fortunate to know two very lovely women who have worked (and will work again) in the industry. The Amazon, an exotic beauty overseas, (the one who sent me a list of things I should look out for in a brothel) called me before my first shift to wish me luck and to have loads of fun. She has also called me since to catch up and hear about my experiences. She thinks she is a bad influence... I think she's awesome.

Dorian worked with me on my first night, she likes the place but is not into the hours, also she has worked for a much higher class place - the kind of place that is busiest during the day when business men can schedule in "meetings" to explain their absences. So I think the next time she works she'll probably try out a new place. I get to see her a lot which means I have someone I can chat to about tricks of the trade and seek advice. Which reminds me, I must memorise her bodyslide technique, it brings all the boys to the yard.

For now I'm happy with just those two people knowing, I know most of my friends will neither be surprised or unhappy if they discovered I am selling my affections at an hourly rate, but somethings are best kept quiet.

You know you're a prostitute when...

You know you are a prostitute when you have sex with 5 different men in the space of 10 hours and at the end of the shift can't remember them all. maybe it's just me. Friday night was good. Before the shift I was still slightly nervous and a bit turned on, I kept having to pee.

I got 5 bookings (unfortunately for much shorter time spaces than my first night), and had some good conversations. The men I have met at the brothel seem to have very low expectations of the conversation so it's not difficult to impress.

1st guy, old man possibly the worst kisser in the world - 20 minutes

2nd guy, young chap, possibly with some level of a mental health disorder like asperger's syndrome... and possibly the 2nd worst kisser in the world - 30 minutes

3rd guy, first didn't want to take a shower, then seemed to think that condoms were negotiable, he learnt the rules pretty fast - 1 hour

4th guy, really sweet, first half hour he went down on me, and for the second half he wanted to be hugged - bliss - 1 hour

5th guy, 22 year old rugby player, really shy, I think he had watched too much porn in his formative years - 20 minutes

There's this fantastic woman called Cindy Gallop who has made a web page called make love not porn that raises some really good issues. Hard core pornography is ample on the web and easier to access for young boys than other forms of sex education. Unfortunately hard core porn give a very limited understanding of sex. It's nice to have the opportunity to gently and positively direct young men into better sexual practices. I think you should always leave a lover in better condition than when you found them.

Signin' up

I popped in and spoke to The Manager during the week. I said that I really enjoyed working but can't handle the 13 hour shifts. She seems to like me, which is nice. She said she can offer me a 10 hour shift 9am-7pm on a Saturday or a Sunday. Excellent.

I'm working tonight - Friday night - from 7pm till 5am. Much better than 8am. After that I'm not going to work till the end of the month (my weekends are pretty full at the moment) and then after the summer holidays I'll be signing up for one day-shift a week. I think I can make this work. If I work only one day a week, I think I can almost double my income without it effecting my day job.

I'm also going to look into registering for tax, and (unrelated) I've decided to move house. I'm now really looking forward to next year. I think life has just got a whole lot better.